I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
