i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
