The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
