I hate your face
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
