My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize