i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize