I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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