I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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