So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
