If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
