I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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