part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
