The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You don't make any sense
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