a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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