So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
