i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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