Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
