I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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