No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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