Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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