Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
