I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
