i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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