he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
me + whiskey = a bad person
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
