I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
