Someone shit on the floor
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
