she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize