Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
