Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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