His hands were made for my vagina.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
