she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
