Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
