i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
