Sponge bath it is.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
