So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
