You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
