Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
