The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
