i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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