I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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