I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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