oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
