I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
