i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's always time for handjobs
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
