so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
