so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
