So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize