She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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