another moral hangover. fuck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
