found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
