So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
