By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
