She said her name was "party"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize