So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
