I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
