carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
