i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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