he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
