Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
