I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
sex in a hospital.. check
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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