Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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