Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A bitchslap is in order.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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