I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
