he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
A+ Viking dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
