Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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